On the fourth day of Christmas the Lit Kitch gave to me…
It’s the fourth day of the Lit Kitch Twelve Days of Christmas! You can find the first three days here. Today we are making turkey to accompany our reading of Jean Shepherd’s A Christmas Story. I grew up watching the movie A Christmas Story every Christmas. In fact, we would usually leave the TV on the 24-hour marathon of the movie for the entirety of Christmas day. Still to this day I could probably recite the movie’s dialogue from beginning to end.
The quotability of the movie comes in large part from the voice-over of the narrator, Ralphie. His humorous observations thread together the narrative of a Depression-era midwestern family at Christmastime. Shepherd adapted the movie’s screenplay from a handful of his short stories. Four of these stories appear in his book In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash, with a fifth story appearing in the collection Wanda Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories. These five stories are now published as a collection of their own, entitled A Christmas Story.
A Christmas Story Turkey
The turkey scene is one of the highlights of A Christmas Story. In the movie, the neighbor’s dogs steal the family’s turkey on Christmas day, forcing Ralphie and his family to have Christmas dinner at a Chinese restaurant. In the book, however, the scene takes place on Easter, and the dogs steal a ham. However, in this story Ralphie also ruminates on the importance of the Christmas turkey.
“Buying a turkey was a state occasion. The entire family would go to the market to inspect all the turkeys; they’d discuss the relative merits of each, press the breastbones down, wiggle the legs, until finally they’d take a vote and decide on this particular 12-pounder, which is borne home with honor and prepared for the big day, like a virgin for the sacrifice.”
“The Grandstand Passion Play of Delbert and the Bumpus Hounds” from A Christmas Story
So, in the spirit of Ralphie, let’s make a turkey!
A Christmas Story Turkey Recipe
To be honest, this is only the second turkey I’ve made in my entire life. The first one I made last week. But that turkey turned out so good, and was such a big reward for the amount of work, that I think turkey has worked its way into our regular rotation. I mean, are there better leftovers? Turkey and mashed potatoes and gravy. And don’t forget the most important part, the highlight of a turkey dinner: the stuffing. I am a stuffing fanatic. Now that I know how to make my own, I have serious concerns for my health.
There are a million different turkey recipes on the internet, with all kinds of tips and tricks for making a moist, juicy turkey. There are cookbooks and magazines and cooking shows and turkey hotlines, all covering the turkey FAQs in time for the holidays. As a turkey-making novice, I don’t have anything particularly new or groundbreaking to add to this enormous wealth of turkey information. But I will share with you how I made my turkey.
The Brine
After allowing my turkey to thaw, I used a turkey brining kit the day before cooking it. Brining sounds more intimidating than it actually is. If you purchase a brining kit, follow whatever instructions come with it, but the basic process involves stirring the seasoning into warm water, then cooling it to room temperature, then adding ice cold water. Then, simply put the turkey in a brine bag, pour the water over it, tie it up and put it in the refrigerator overnight.
You can find a brine kit at most grocery stores. I recommend this one (not an ad, just one that I had a good experience with). I used this for the first turkey I made and everything went smoothly and the bird turned out DELICIOUS!
One word of advice: be very careful to not puncture the brine bag! Seriously. When you have two dozen cups of liquid and a 13 pound turkey in a bag, there is a lot of potential for disaster there! I didn’t have an issue with the first brine kit I used, but for the second turkey I used a store brand kit, and it was almost a nightmare. I ended up double-bagging it with my spare oven bag and praying for the best.
You can sit the brine bag directly in the refrigerator, but I placed mine in my Dutch oven for more support. This also helped make sure the brine covered more of the turkey.
The Stuffing
AKA the most important part of the turkey! I went with a classic stuffing, using onions and celery. However, one of the great things about stuffing is its versatility. You can add fruit, nuts, even oysters! I think stuffing is also pretty forgiving–I was not very exact in measuring anything I put into it. When you’re mixing bread with butter and turkey juice, it’s almost guaranteed to be good.
The bread should be slightly crisp before you mix up the stuffing. For the first turkey I let the bread cubes sit out overnight, thinking this would do the trick. However, the next morning only the top layer had reached the desired texture. I ended up putting my bread cubes on a tray and popping them in the oven for a few minutes. They do not need to be hard, just slightly toasty.
I know it seems like a lot of bread, but once you add the liquid (butter and egg) it really mushes down into a dense little stuffing ball. Plus, you can never have too much stuffing, right?!
Cooking the Turkey
I used a turkey oven bag for both turkeys. As these are the only two turkeys I have ever made, I cannot speak to any other method. However, I’m a big fan of the bag. It keeps the turkey moist without having to baste it constantly (or at all). You can pretty much put the turkey in the oven and forget about it for a few hours. Both turkeys came out really moist, and the bag helps collect the turkey juices for making gravy. Just follow the instructions that come with the bag as far as cooking time and oven temperature.
I will say it is easier putting the turkey in the bag if you have someone helping you. I accidentally ripped open the sealed end of the bag when trying to maneuver the bird in there. Clearly I am not having great luck with bags this week. Having already used the spare oven bag to solve the punctured brine bag dilemma, I had no other choice but to tie off the bag on both ends. Fortunately, everything turned out alright.
I hope you all enjoy your holiday turkeys, and I encourage you to check out Jean Shepherd’s writing for some laughs this holiday season!
